I have been guilty of putting the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge, I have also been guilty of getting frustrated when the water won’t boil even after patiently waiting for over 20 minutes- only to realize I never turned the stove burner on... I’ve left my keys in my front door- yet locked the door from the inside..
Basically my mind has not worked quite right recently. It happens to me every time I’ve been pregnant and after the diaper bag incident Craig looked at me and sincerely asked if I was sure that I might want a 4th. I think he’s worried about me. (Just as a side note here, Craig’s solution was quite genius! Maybe I’ll include it at the end of the blog...)This obviously has me thinking about my ‘embarrassing/stupid moments.’ Since everyone needs a good laugh and reassurance, I’m gonna give you a reason! This post quite honestly answers the lifelong question, “What is your most embarrassing moment” with my top five stories.
By the way, who and why did we start asking each other this question? I mean seriously!
If you’re brave enough, feel free to share your own story, or you could share someone else’s...sorry Craig...
#5- Junior high is awkward, we all know this, your body grows rapidly in all kinds of ways, acne decides to make it’s home on many un-expecting youths faces, mood swings are normal and the need to ‘fit in’ is at an all-time high. Geez when you say it out loud like that, I suddenly feel like I am back in the junior high stage...oh pregnancy how I love you! I like to think I was a cute jr. high girl way back when, but I was also extremely self-concious! Boys would talk to me, and if I had grown up with them I could carry on a conversation without a hiccup, but the moment my ‘crush’ looked my way I thought I would pass out. This guys name was Chad. I was a 7th grader, and he was a 9th. I know, I always seemed to have a thing for older men... My first junior high dance approached and of course my aunts came for the occasion to do my hair, makeup and play dress up. I felt BEAU-TIFUL! I arrived at the dance with all my glittering glory and went and hid on one of the side walls. Every time a slow song came on my heart would leap with excitement to dance with a boy, but then it would quickly drop to think I may do something wrong or worry I wouldn’t get asked to dance at all! Talk about mood swings! Towards the end of the night, a young man tapped me on the shoulder during a slow song, and when I turned around I looked up to see a tall, blonde, blue-eyed Chad grinning back at me and requesting a dance.
I just about died.
As we got dancing, I was so dang nervous, clammy hands, the glow of nervous sweat pooling on my forehead, yet trying to be ‘cool’ by not showing my utter excitement at his request. I was such a wreck that when the song stopped I quickly let go of his neck, thanked him and literally ran off. It probably would have been fine except for the fact that the song hadn’t ended. It was just a pause. I felt like the biggest idiot. Things just weren’t the same after that... But for years I thought that was my most embarrassing moment. Unfortunately for me, that was just the beginning.
#4- I was in my first year of college at Weber State University, a nice enough young guy had caught me outside of our Chemistry class and struck up a conversation. I’d never talked to him before, and to be honest, I don’t think I ever did after this day either. As the conversation progressed almost to the ‘would you go on a date with me’ point, something funny was said, and I laughed. No biggie right? I had appropriate timing, but unfortunately during that laugh my wad of polar ice chewing gum decided to take a flying leap out of my mouth, just barley missing his leg. I’m sure my face turned purple because it felt HOT! I tried to keep my calm as I picked up the gum, walked over to the garbage, and quickly shot an apologetic smile back at whatever his name was, and scurried on my way down the corridor. We never did go on a date. Again, I thought that had to be it! My most embarrassing moment...Nope. Not even close.
#3- After Craig and I got married I drove Craig’s red Ford Ranger to work everyday from Ogden to Roy and he drove his motorcycle to his branch about 10-15 minutes away until we bought me a car. Well before that point I had never needed to fill the truck with gas, but this particular day it was low, and I thought I’d show how on top of things I was and fill’er up! So my 1 hour lunch break rolled around, and I knew it would take me a total of 30 minutes to drive to leave work, drive to my destination and then get back, leaving me the other 30 minutes to eat, or pick some food up without returning back to work late. No problem, that would be plenty of time. I pulled up to the gas pump, opened the little door to access the gas cap and then it happened. It didn’t matter what I did, I could NOT get that dang gas cap off! All the vehicles I had ever driven were simple, twist, twist and off the cap came- like a soda pop bottle. Not this cap, it had little two little notches on the cap that you had to twist it off and twist it on just right. Later I was told this is how most vehicles are... After about 15 minutes of trying to figure this dang thing out, a man in a ‘Latino Market’ truck pulled up on the other side of the pump. As 19 year old girl I was terrified of asking for help, but I knew I would be late if I didn’t hurry it up. So I walked over to the man and explained my situation. He looked at me only partially understanding what exactly my predicament was. Instead, he just followed me over to my truck, and this time, I tried to show him my problem. He gave me the most bewildered look, grabbed the gas cap, gave it a little twist, and just like that, put it in my hand. He gave me a look that could only read, “They say blondes are dumb” look and comments, “like that?” All I could say was thank you, and he briskly walked away from me and into the store. I couldn’t believe it. Idiot isn’t a strong enough words for how I felt. As I quickly filled the tank up, and worked to get the cap back on, I drove out of there as quickly as possible, arriving to work literally with 2 minutes to spare. I bet you can only imagine how hard Craig laughed at my misfortune that night. Obviously the experience has stuck with me, and I quickly learned how to work the dang gas cap as to not repeat the ordeal.
#2- Oh boy, I’m not sure how to even start this one. All I can remember is this, I was driving MY silver, Ford F-150. Loved that truck, I always felt so big and macho driving it around. Anyway, the kids and I drove it over to the local Maverik to fill up on gas (Why is it that two of my stories involve gas stations!) and then we were supposed to be running an errand after that- yeah, that didn’t happen. As I’m sitting at the pump, I hear the click sound, grab my receipt, get back in the truck and then like usual, start the truck, click my seatbelt into place, check to make sure the kids are still locked in, clear the trip mileage tracker, put the truck in drive and proceed out of the station. That’s when I heard the noise, and then it hit me. I quickly stopped, put the truck back in park- and got out. In that moment I looked up to see Craig driving past obviously perplexed...then I looked over and two stalls over stood the missionaries giggling like two school girls... yeah I hoped in that moment that a few doors got slammed in their faces that day...Ok that wasn’t very nice, but I wanted to tell them to put a cork in it... I was obviously feeling a bit stupid, I’m not usually that unkind... I couldn’t believe what I had just done. I had left the gas pump IN my truck as I pulled away. It had pulled so far it detached the hose from the pump itself and I was taking it home with us...There was a gas attendant outside changing garbages, so I calmly walked up to her- I was so proud I kept my composure... and asked if I needed to fill out some paperwork or what they would need from me to take care of my little accident. I wouldn’t say she was grumpy, but that lady acted like she could care less that I had just tried to take home one of their gas hoses. She just looked at me and said, “It happens all the time, have a nice day...” and that was it! Just to put a little plug in here, she said it happens all the time, I’m sure that was to make me feel better, but the fact that I’ve never seen it happen before, didn’t make me feel ANY better... To this day I check, and double check to make sure it doesn’t happen again!
#1- I say #1, but I’ll be upfront with you, there is ONE other story that tops this one, but I have not reached the point in my life where I will share that one with the whole world, so this will have to do! I wasn’t a nose picker, and because of this experience, I never became one... But there was this one time...Shortly after Craig were married, we were sitting on the couch watching a movie. I noticed Craig had a small, dry- nothing real gross booger that he had just released from his nose. He took it, did a little rolling motion, and flicked it away without hesitation. I guess he assumed I’d be vacuuming soon... So, I thought I’d try this little trick out. Again, nothing super disgusting, just a small dry, we will call it a ‘dust ball’ from my nose. I did a little rolling motion, and with a small flick, it went away. Or so I thought. The moment it left my possession, I see Craig flinch in the corner of my eye. His next words will forever haunt me. All he said was, “Uh, Kenna, what was that?” Of course after much contemplation I said the smartest thing I could back...”What was what?” He looked over at me and said, “I’m not 100% for sure what that was, but whatever it was, it’s in my leg hair.....” Yup, if there was ever a time I wanted to crawl into a hole and die, that was it. I was MORTIFIED! I wouldn’t say we were quite at that point yet where letting off gas was appropriate yet, so this was totally not ok in my book! As I said before, because of this experience, I NEVER EVER did that again. Tissues, or toilet paper are in every vehicle, and my purse. He still laughs, and I still blush at the memory. I guess i should also clarify that Craig is not a nose picker either, there just happened to be a ‘dust ball’ in his nose that day too...
Because ‘misery loves company’ I thought I’d go ahead and share one of Craig’s embarrassing moments. I’m sure he’ll appreciate this one day, if not I guess you’ll hear about it soon enough! As I’ve mentioned in the past, Mercedes has always been hilarious. Her comments have always made me nervous, (never knowing what’s going to come out of her little mouth) and in the end I find myself chuckling. This particular day Craig was standing shirtless in our bathroom with fluffy white shaving cream on his face, all prepped and ready to shave off his prized beard. I was standing there watching the process when here comes Mercedes. Craig’s current state obviously had her curious, so she asked, “Daddy, what’s that on your face?” He simply replied, “Shaving cream to make shaving my hair off easier.” Mercedes and I joked back and forth about how he looked like Santa Claus, to which she replied ‘No, Daddy Clause,’ we giggled all over again and then Mercedes paused. She looked up at Craig and says, “Daddy, you should put some of that stuff on your back,” (pointing to his lower back just above the belt line). Now she had his attention.
“Why do you say that Mercedes,” he asked.
Her response will down in our Atkinson book of best moments. “Because daddy, your back has a mustache too!” Even now, as I type this story I am laughing out loud because of the look on Craig’s face. I actually left the room I was laughing so dang hard. She was innocently informing him of the mustache on his back, but I’m not sure he really wanted to know about it... Long story short, I don’t remember the last time he shaved with Mercedes around to give him pointers...
Well, I hope these stories have brightened your day, given you a laugh or two, and at the very least made you realize how embarrassing and dumb moments are just apart of our lives, and hopefully everyone else’s as well! Happy Friday!
-Mikenna
P.S. I shared a part of this story on my facebook, but I thought I’d include the ending just in case you wanted another laugh....
A few months back we had an appointment in South Ogden, Utah (about 2 1/2 hours away). In preparation for this little journey I packed the diaper bag the night before making sure to include some coloring books, crayons, and snacks. Right before I was called back Bridger started smelling absolutely awful, which every parent knows, means there’s a tootsie roll in the diaper. Craig being the great parent he is, took Bridger out to the truck to change his diaper. Well, when he got to the truck, there were a few- like two wipes left which he used, and then threw away the diaper. There was one problem. There were NO diapers in the DIAPERS bag, well I usually have a few extra in each of our vehicles, nothin. So he checked my purse- again I usually carry an extra just in case, but nothing there either! I’m sure you’re questioning my prepping skills at this point. Craig knowing that he can’t leave the kid diaper-less, had a brilliant idea. He may not have found any ‘real diapers’ in my purse, but there were some ‘feminine diapers’- as my children have lovingly named them, in my purse. So what did Craig do? He stuck two Always pads in Bridger’s pants until we could get to the store. You can probably assume Bridger was less than amused. Maybe that’s why he basically potty trained himself shortly after the ordeal. Needless to say, I still pack a few extra diapers, and pull-ups to make sure I pack a DIAPER BAG and not just ‘the bag.’